ShannRoberts Unraveled

How glorious the feeling when you are standing on the mountain peak in your life, having reached the end of a long journey, a long season. You look out over the vast and lush valleys, take in the clear streams and the eagles that so majestically soar overhead. You breathe in that cold air and think, “I made it!” Everything is going right, all that you worked hard for has been a success. You are another step closer to all the beautiful dreams that you never let go of. 

But do you remember what it was like when you were at the bottom? The long nights when you didn’t even know where you were or if you are even following a path anymore. Sometimes it felt like you were climbing back down instead of pushing your way up. Through all the shrubbery and the branches, you could only see so far and all you had leading you was the promise you received when you were at the starting line.

I read a verse once that changed my perspective and my life. Psalms 119:50 “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”  

At first I simply glossed over it. But then something about it struck me and I read it a few more times. And then I realized what it was saying. It’s saying that though I feel like life has very nearly defeated me, and though I have come to the very edge of giving up, though I have felt overcome from circumstances…I am being preserved. Saved for a special purpose. And until that moment comes, until His promise comes to pass, Nothing can destroy me. Nothing can stop me. Nothing. Though no one else may believe in my dreams, though I may feel like I will never measure up, though doubt my cloud my vision…His promise…His promise preserves my life. Sometimes it’s all that I have. 

I. Will. Not. Give. Up. I’ve come too far. I’ve worked too hard. I was not made to be average. I wasn’t made to be satisfied with ordinary. HIS promise preserves MY life. His promise preserves my life. His promise preserves my life!! Sometimes I repeat it over and over and over again. So I won’t forget. So I won’t settle. So I won’t give up. His promise preserves my life! No matter what happens, no matter how far I fall or what hardship may come my way. I am being preserved for a special purpose. And God has a design for every day of my life. Even in these dark nights. He has a plan. I’ve got to trust in Him! I may be stumbling around, unsure of where I am at or what direction I’m headed. I may not be able to see but one step in front of me. I may not know how in the world it’s all gonna work out. It maybe IMPOSSIBLE! But as long as I keep trusting, as long as I keep walking, maybe just making the decision to take one more step and then one more step and then one more step…I will get there. We’ll all get there. His ways are above our ways. His thoughts are above our thoughts. He created the whole world in just a few short days. He spoke and worlds appeared. What are our problems compared to Him? What are our small issues? They are nothing to Him. Nothing. 

So don’t forget. And don’t give up. Don’t let the enemy trick you or deceive you into believing that you’ll never get there, that you’ll always fail. When God gives you a promise, you can take it to the bank. There will be moments when all you have is the memory of the time that he spoke, but don’t ever forget it. Hold onto it. It will be your light in the darkest nights. Your hope when everything else is shattered around your feet. Believe and don’t stop trusting. You will make it to the top and see your dream come to pass. 

It’s a comfort to know that this life that we are living right now is not all there is. That when this is all over, when our last day is lived, our last breath given, we will go on into our REAL life, which, for all eternity will be spent with our beloved Savior!!! How wonderful is that? The hope that we have, the future that we have chosen, is waiting for us on the other side! As great as this life is sometimes, and as bad and low as it could be, no matter what I’m facing or going through, I have a bright future awaiting me. There’s an old song that I heard Sis. Haney sing one time that talked about if we had shacks by the crystal sea, all that really mattered was seeing Jesus. That is so true! I could care less about a mansion or streets of gold, I just want to be with Jesus! Every time I think about it, I just feel excited. What a day that will be!! 

What a day that will be

When my Jesus I’ll see

When I look on His face

Who saved me by Grace

-

No more sickness

No more hurting

All my sins have been wiped away

No more darkness

No more breaking

The veil has been torn away

-

The nails, the pain You bore for us

So we could see Your face

For my soul, the price of love You gave

Was so much greater than I could repay

In place of my guilt, You gave me grace

And so I can’t wait to see Your face

How many times have we discussed life and it’s intricacies? How many times have we, as Christians, discussed victory as if it is a feeling instead of a way of life? How many cliches, memorized sayings and over-used lines of comfort, all done with a sincere heart, but lacking in real results have we offered, all to keep falling down over the same problems, struggling with the same issues, wondering in the midst of all of the chaos…where is God? Don’t we believe that all things work together for the good of those that love Him? Don’t we believe that in our weakness HIS strength is made perfect? Doesn’t it say that we can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens us? So what is it that we lack? Why is it that we still struggle? Why are we still drowning in the same ocean of doubts, confusion and failure? 

Maybe it’s because we’ve been approaching it all wrong. Maybe we’ve been waiting for God to come rescue us, to hear our cry, to get us out of the pit, when all along He stands there saying, “You have the tools to get out. Use them!” 

The fact of the matter is this. We DO have the answer. We CAN always achieve victory. We ARE more than conquerors. But if we don’t learn to use the weapons that we have been given, if we are not confident in who we are as the children and heirs of Christ, and more importantly, if we don’t realize WHAT and WHERE the true battle is, then we WILL be overwhelmed, weathered, broken down and chipped away by the storms of life and the destruction of the world. 

So what is it that we are missing? First, we have to know where this battle is. In Old Testament times, the battle was a tangible thing. There was an actual field, actual human beings and wars were really fought with sword and shield. But today, the battle field is much more elusive. It is a secret place, a hidden field, a battle that only we know about. It is in our MIND. Our mind, our thoughts, those secret places that no one sees, THAT is the battle field. The enemy attacks us though this portal, manipulating our thoughts and moods, emotions and feelings. Everything about who we are and how we respond to day to day incidents starts in our mind. It is the beginning of who we are. So…now that we know where it starts…how to we win? How can we ALWAYS achieve victory? 

First, we have to realize that victory is NOT a feeling. Victory is not an emotion or even an OUTCOME. Victory is not the end result or the fan fair. No. It is, in fact, a WAY OF LIFE!! Victory is achieved when you DECIDE to do things a certain way. You can fight back these thoughts, you can win these emotional battles, you can CONQUER the enemy’s territory with the weapon that we have been given. So what is that? 

The Bible says in Acts 1:8 that you receive POWER when the Holy Ghost comes on you. So we know from Acts 2:38 and John 3:5 that after we repent, be baptized in the name of Jesus and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost that we now have POWER. But how do we utilize that power? We use it through the word of God. Hebrews 4:12 says, For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

This is our weapon. This is how we achieve TRUE victory. This is how we are more than conquerors! The word of God cannot lie! Therefore, when the battle is raging in your mind, DO NOT be intimidated. DO NOT back down and wait for God to come rescue you. DO NOT think that victory will be achieved once you feel victorious. It is YOUR actions. It is YOUR response. It’s your choice. 

You know your weaknesses. Better than anyone else in the world, you know where you struggle and where the enemy tends to win in your life and where you constantly fight. And it doesn’t matter what it is. Whether its doubt, depression, insecurity, fear, lust, jealousy, anger…whatever it is. Fight back! Tell the enemy that He WILL NOT and CANNOT WIN! Why? 

Here is why. 

Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a STRONG TOWER. The RIGHTEOUS run to it and are SAFE.”

1 John 4:4 “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them because HE who is in you is GREATER than He who is in the world.”

Psalm 34:7 “The angel of the Lord encamps around ALL those who fear Him and DELIVERS them.”

James 5:16 “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails MUCH.”

Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…”

Hebrews 10:19 “Therefore brethren, having BOLDNESS to enter the holiest by the blood of JESUS.”

Acts 4:12 “Neither is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved.”

Luke 18:27 “The things that are impossible for man are possible with God.”

Romans 8:37 “Yet in all these things we are MORE Than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

As a person who spent four years in Bible college learning and studying every book,  every passage, the context, the Greek and Hebrew, the ways we can use it to help others…I honestly never used it like this. In fact, I came home and struggled. Doubted more than I ever have in my whole life. To be honest…I came so close to giving up. Because there was a huge storm brewing in my mind and soul and I didn’t know how to fight it. I lost a lot of ground. I was angry, confused, heart broken, afraid. I thought God had abandoned me. After all that He had taught me, after all that He had poured into me, after the close relationship that we shared, I don’t know how in the world I got to that place. But it was by losing ground, little by little, every day and not fighting back. But God, in His complete brilliance, kindness and love, sent me a message that changed my life. I’m still learning to live this life of victory. Sometimes I forget because I’m still working on making it a habit. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m fighting again. And you can too. No matter who you are. No matter how much you’ve fallen. Those of you who have set your mind to follow Jesus, those of you who desire to be world changers, those of you for whom ordinary and average is NOT enough…know this: your life WILL change many. You WILL overcome and win. Your future is bright, not with possibilities, but with realities! But the enemy knows it as well. And he’s going to fight you the very best that he can. He studies you to know your weaknesses. He has it all catalogued somewhere. And at your weakest point, he will attack. But if you are trained, if you know your word, if you claim it’s promises, you will GAIN ground. You will ALWAYS have victory. You WILL BE more than a conqueror. 

To close this out, I want to say this. If you, in a moment of weakness, begin to fight back and say these verses and you are still struggling…use these verses as the grand slam. 

Revelation 20:1-3, 10

“Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, having the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. He laid hold of the dragon, that serpent of old, who is the Devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years. And he cast him into the bottomless pit and shut him up and set a seal on him so that he should deceive the nations no more till the thousand years were finished. (10) The devil, who deceived them, was cast into a lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night…FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!”

WHEW!!!!!!!! If that doesn’t just give you chills…see, the wonderful thing is that this rotten enemy who fights us WILL NEVER KNOW what it’s like to walk on streets of gold. He will NEVER KNOW what it’s like to enter through pearl gates!! But most importantly, he will NEVER KNOW what it’s like to be able to see JESUS face to face and run and jump into His arms and be FREE of bondage FOREVER!!! He’s going to a place where he will be tormented for all of time! And he WILL NOT take us with him! We are the heirs of Christ and our reward is HEAVEN and eternity with the love of our lives!!! Don’t be discouraged! Don’t doubt!!! The LORD IS ON OUR SIDE!!!!!!

With all my heart,

Shannon

It’s amazing to me how life’s gliding pathways have this wonderful mix of memories and past. Recently, a friend asked me for chords to one of my songs and as I began to write them out, the memories of the night that it was written came flooding back. It was a night that I will never forget for as long as I live because it was a night that I changed forever. It was a turning point, an altar, a landmark. A place I often look back on and reflect on the person I was then and who I was, six hours later, as I watched the sun rising and felt God’s redeeming love literally holding me in His arms. I remember the tormented struggle, the wrestling in my heart, the conflicting storm that seemed like it would tear me up from the inside as I sat there in the frigid cold, before the sun had risen, sitting beneath ironically peaceful stars and heaven. I knew then that I had an audience as I held my guitar in my hands and stared up, in the vast beyond, filled with awe that the Creator of the universe was surrounding me, watching me, helping me to let go. All night long, I struggled and cried, being made to feel like I was the last thing on Earth that could ever deserve love or to be cherished. But my moment of release came as the delicate streaks of pink began to light up the world. Hope began to seep into my broken soul. But more then that…dawning realization gripped my heart until I finally understood. Jesus Christ himself died for me on a cross. He paid the price for my debt. He thought of me as his last moments were upon him, as pain coursed through his body and those he loved mocked him to his face. And if I was the only one, the only person, He still would have done it. Just for me. 

I left that morning a woman secure. Secure in the FACT that God loves me, whether or not I deserve it. Whether I do right or wrong. Whether others care or not. He cares. He sees. He knows. There is no better guardian than the one who rules the heavens. There is no better protector than the one who holds all power in his voice. There is no better Father, than the one who created all life and made salvation possible. Through storms, through mountains, through heartache, through rejection, through persecution, through starvation, through bitter hurt, through conflict, through everything that this pathway of life brings, He is always a step ahead of me, preparing the way, speaking His peace, helping me to understand His great love that overshadows, overpowers, overwhelms EVERY obstacle that would try and destroy me. And so, since that day, my message to the world remains to be this. 

The love of God is truly, whole-heartedly, completely and freely given to YOU. No matter who you are. No matter what you’ve done. No matter who has valued you and who has cut you down. Whether your past is littered with regrets or not. Simply because you are a human being that was lovingly crafted and molded when NO ONE knew that you existed. Simply because you are identified as His most precious creation. Simply because you are you. 

Isn’t that just amazing?

“When I was made, You took my life and formed it

Every part was lovingly fashioned

Every part is written down…

And wonderful is the love that You have for me

And marvelous are the thoughts that You think of me

Where could I go from Your presence?

Where could I flee from You?

How great is Your love!”

We all have dreams. We all have a mission, a personal agenda that, whether vague or specified, we are working toward. Maybe not every moment. Maybe not in a tenacious, aggressive manner…or maybe so. Whatever category you fall under, I understand the pressure that so often comes with life’s twists and turns. The unexpected hand of disappointment, the chaotic collection of let down’s and misfortunes…and sometimes, the sweet flavor of achievement and success. But somewhere in this confusing pile of assorted character-building experiences, there comes a time when one simply has to close out every voice, every pull, everything that vies for the one thing that takes us in any direction…our attention. Pushing all that aside, what is it that we see? What is it that I see? I just want to make a difference. I just want my life to mean something. I want to be able to say, at the end of it all, that I really did change the world. I’m ready to go deeper than the surface achievements or successes. I’m ready to make the sacrifice. Though there are constant barriers and a very familiar voice that says, “You’re crazy! Just stop. Get a real job,” it really just comes down to one simple fact. 

I could never. Ever. Ever. Be satisfied with ordinary. 

So the question is…are you with me? Am I alone in my quest? Or do you, as well, struggle and fight for that “something more” element? So what if they say it’s impossible. So what if you’ve been told your not enough. Who are they to judge? So what if it’s never been done. Fight for what you believe in. Stand by it. Live by it…REMEMBER it. Don’t let life’s chaos steal your mission. It’s so easy to get caught up and lost in the distractions of the “every day” routine. But when it all comes down to it…this life is just a mere moment. A faint cloud. And then it’s over. We only have one chance to make a difference. So why settle? Together, we can, we WILL…change the world. 

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

James 4:14 “What is your life? It is but a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” 

The roaring wind of the canyon enveloped her body, causing it to swing precariously away from the hard rock that made up the western side. She could feel her fingers growing numb and weak, but none of that mattered now. Seconds ago, she had been nearly hyperventilating from a catastrophic attack of fear. But where there had been chaos, where her emotions had been as fierce as the wind that now pushed her farther away from safety, there was silence. A blank horizon that went on for eternity. It seemed so clear now. Closing her eyes, she let her head hang, feeling the oozing fingers of despair slide over her heart and soul, pulling her down with every intent of destruction. 

Do you trust me? 

In the blackness of her mind, the faint voice rippled across the surface of her thoughts, lost somewhere in the abyss of her final moments. 

My love…will you trust me?

Blinking, she glanced around, aware for the first time that the voice was directed to her. Confusion clouded her senses. Twisting this way and that, she struggled to see from where the voice came. Then suddenly, as the wind whistled past her ears, awakening dawned, gathering like a sun’s rays gushing over mountains. She opened her mouth to speak. Her throat was dry. 

“I…I…”

Let go.

Bewildered, she held on tighter, suddenly afraid that this voice would pry her hands loose. Her heart began to pick up pace. The wind screamed louder, daring her to give in. 

“I can’t-” She gasped, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt the fear once again begin to rise. 

Let go…

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” Her voice broke. Tears began to fall down her cheeks. 

You can trust me, little one.

“But what if no one catches me?”

Have I ever let you down?

“What if I die?”

What have you got to lose? 

She paused at that thought. What did she have to lose? She was going to die anyway. No one knew where she was. In that final moment of quandary, when the voices of despair, anguish and fear laughed and mocked her, when the swelling rivers of failure were at their greatest peak, her decision was made. Peace began to trickle into the crevices of her very soul, chasing away the darkness. Just as she began to loosen her grip, she heard a sound. A split second of dread pounded like a drum as she felt her body begin to fall. The rock that she had been holding onto flew out of reach. She was tempted to strain for the rocks again but surprisingly she relaxed into the mighty wind that carried her away, closing her eyes. It was a strange sensation, falling. Not knowing when her body would smash into the jagged ground below. Not even knowing if she had done the right thing. But as she opened her eyes, she saw it. The cause of the noise that she’d heard just before she let go. A shadow fell over her as the beast flew by, claws forward, toward the rock where she had just been. The dragon that was her greatest enemy, her worst downfall, her bitter nightmares. It had one mission; to destroy her. And oh, how close that moment had come! But as she watched, she couldn’t help the smile that flickered across her lips as it screeched in daunting surprise, it’s shuddering cry echoing through the canyon. Smashing into the ledge, it’s weight caused the sharp edges of the rock to pierce through it’s scaly armor. An overpowering scream escaped it’s mouth and as it clawed desperately for a hold, the rocks gave way causing the enormous monster to crash into the sides of the canyon, falling to it’s destruction. She didn’t know how much longer she had, but for the first time in many years, she felt safe. Safe from the voices of her past. Safe from the attack of her enemies. Safe from everything. Looking down, she noticed, for the first time, a mighty river flowing at the base of the canyon. Her body slipped into it’s blue depths, the icy shock exploding through her body. But she was safe. Here, in the chaos of her life, in the very moment that she should have been destroyed, she was safer than she had ever been. 

It seems as if vast sections of time in my life have been completely focused on one thing. Being as close to Jesus as I can get. When my eyes are trained on Him, when my every decision is dependent on His gentle voice, everything else seems to just fall into perspective. Suddenly, it’s not so hard to let His light shine out of me because I think…who cares if they don’t accept me? Who cares if others think I’m crazy? Who cares if I never fit in? I have God! It’s easier to abandon the wishful thoughts that sometimes take flight throughout my day. Wishful thoughts about the simplicity of a normal life. The stages that most people go through. The “carnal” achievements that drive most individuals in a certain direction. I’m happy with what I’ve got. I’m healthy, I have an amazing, supportive, Christian family. I have the word’s best job because I work for the world’s best boss. (My dad). I attend an amazing church and have insanely awesome friends. I work with an incredible youth ministry called Project1six. And God has allowed me to experience some pretty stinkin’ awesome things in my twenty-three years! I have so much to be grateful for. So much to smile about. 

But there are moments when my eyes stray away from the path for a second because something caught my eye. Something else is pulling at my heart and I find myself hesitantly coming to a stop and staring off to the side. I’m not moving forward and I haven’t necessarily moved off the path. But something out there tempts me, speaks to me. It’s not sinful things. It’s just…life. Suddenly, my priorities aren’t so clear. The answers aren’t really black and white. Everything becomes cloudy. I wrestle with decisions, hopes and longing. Sometimes I even sit down because just standing there drains me out. And I find myself contemplating. Wondering…is there another amazing, life changing moment coming for me down this path I’m walking? Or is the rest of it just this dull brown dirt road? Have I already experienced everything spectacular that I will ever experience for the rest of my existence? 

But when the moment passes and the clouds float off and I struggle back up to my feet, I take a deep breath and start plodding down the road again. Because there remains one simple, unchanging, eternal fact in my life. I decided to follow Jesus. No matter what. No matter the cost. No matter what’s in it for me or what isn’t. Whatever the outcome, whatever the future may hold…it doesn’t matter if it blows my mind or not. Because He’s my breath every day, my sunrise every morning, my best friend, whom I talk to constantly when I’m driving down the road (and people must think I’m crazy). He’s the one I sing songs to late into the night that no one else will ever hear. I live, exist, to be with Him every moment. And nothing in this world, no distraction, no great experience, no promotion, is better than just simply holding His hand and walking side-by-side. It really is the greatest experience of all.